A monthly magazine dealing with all aspects of Japanese sword study.
Subscribing to the Journal of Japanese Sword Arts
Issue: #89 Feb. 1998 |
 Journal of Japanese Sword ArtsA monthly journal concerning all aspects of the use of the Japanese Sword. Articles, news, reviews, technical tips. $36 cdn in Canada per year $36 US in USA $48 overseas. JJSA Kim Taylor, ed. 44 Inkerman St. Guelph, Ontario, Canada, N1H 3C5 |
I noticed the following luminary in my studies:
Muso Jikiden Eishin Ryu Iaido
LINEAGE
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Yoda Manzai Yorikatsu (Takakatsu) 13th Soke
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According to our records, a short, long-eared fellow named YODA was the 13th family head of
the Muso Jikiden Eishin Ryu of swordsmanship. It was during this time that the great "spinning
around like a large slow top" technique was pioneered by his error-prone protege Obi-won ton
no Kenobi (which oddly enough means Sword-Belt of the Belted-Dumpling). Master Yoda's art
was highlighted by his never-duplicated skill in droid-rapping and the rare art of ship-lifting.
Yoda Sensei expanded the spiritual teachings of the Ryu with his almost preternatural sense for
detecting evil cooking. As a matter of fact he had a predilection for Cajun Roadkill Gumbo (the
secret is in the "ryoux"), to the dismay of his attendants. The smell would carry for miles, and
more than one student was forced into seppuku for the offense of "puk"ing in the Master's
presence. This had the
unintended side effect of
triggering a great
flowering of the art of
Kaishaku, or "Assisting at
Mealtime."
Yoda was a harsh master,
demanding that his
students practice while he
balanced himself on their
heads. If they dropped
him, his fury was
redoubtable -- he would
force them to fight cave
lizards with nothing but
their blasters, useless
since ammunition had not
been invented. He was on
their backs constantly. He
would lecture incessantly
on the nature and proper use of what he called the Force, insisting that all the Kami-sama were
simply inflections generated by our own life essence. This made him unpopular amongst strict
Shinto traditionalists, but the Buddhists thought he was kinda groovy. In his old age he became
paranoid that misuse of this imaginary "force" would eventually cause a breakdown of values,
random sex and violence, dogs and cats living together, El Nino and the cancellation of Seinfeld.
These fears turned out to be groundless until long after his disappearance.
Unfortunately, Yoda Soke's fatuous acolyte Obi-won taught the secret Okuden techniques to
Hanaki no Tenashi (Sky Walker of the Flower Spirit) who became known as Anakin, or "De'arth
Vadour" to the French missionaries in Kyushu. This sad individual went renegade after his
Kobuto became fused to his skull when a flaming plate of Bananas Foster was accidentally
dumped on him in a French restaurant by his erstwhile compatriots. He spent the rest of his life
wheezing through the bars of his "men" faceplate. He blamed everything on Master Yoda, who
had recommended the dessert. Never a great fencer, Tenashi relied on his skill at telepottery to
subdue foes by flinging cuspidors at them. He was especially dangerous in the early morning
when "flower pots" were put out on the street for refuse workers to empty.
Happily, Hanaki-no-Tenashi was finally defeated by his own son, the loyal "Ruke" Tenashi
whose insidious father intentionally named him unpronouncable in Japanese. Ruke studied with
Yoda-sama after Obi-won-san screwed up again and failed to train Ruke well enough to follow
simple instructions. Ruke never completed the Menkyo program at Yoda U. but went on to form
his own splinter school, the Wossamata Ryu. Ruke-san excelled at tenashi-waza, the art of
kicking people up side the head (an early precursor to the modern day industry of
Tai-Chuan-Leap).
The main branch of MJER, of course, passed back into the Hayashi family and eventually
became the dominant form of classical swordsmanship in north central Texas. It is through this
connection that we know of Yoda Soke and the exploits of him and his successors.